By John White
(Crowd Applause as presenter enter stage)
(Lighting and sound effects)
Male Presenter: Good evening everyone and welcome
to another exciting episode of your favorite
TV Show - MTEL'S PROJECT SHAME. I'm your host,
Amos Adamu. You may recall I was once a contestant
on this show and I almost won but the Super Chickens
of Nigeria stole the hearts and votes of everyone. But today,
I have become a presenter. (Crowd applause) I'm not alone;

Hullo good people! I'm here to tell you that if you vote for me,
I'll make any girl you toast say yes and any guy you're dying for
ask for your hand in dating. I'll pimp your wardrobe, your ride
and in short I'll give you pimples. In the spirit of elections and
voting, I am deeply moved to contest for something (I haven't
decided what I'm contesting for yet. However, I am the woman
for the job, so vote for Sexy Militant and together we will militate
against every force that has diminished our swag overtime!
Mr Publisher, are you satisfied? I have talked about Election 2011
(does it matter that it's not about Buhari or Fashola or Shakara...
sorry Shekarau?). Now unto the one that is really paining me...
in fact I want to stir a riot amongst the young married women
folk (who do not have kids yet o!). My sweet sisters, do you
remember how it was when Oga was still toasting you? The
good old days when he would say 'there's a new club here, let's
check it out' or 'it's a friend's Bach eve, please come with me' or
even the one that Oga used to catch you finally 'there's heavy
traffic, let's chill at a joint'. Sister, can you remember?